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Thursday, February 25, 2016

Chapter Four

“You think you’re so sly, don’t you?” 

I had to hold my phone away from my ear as Celeste laughed uncontrollably. 

She caught her breath and finally spoke. “Well, you wouldn’t take it other wise.” Her voice whimpered as she tried to stop herself from laughing again. “I mean honestly Harper how perfect is this? All I had to do was secretly drop the book in your bag and the universe took care of the rest!”

“There is no way I’m actually going to do this.” My eyes jolted up to the bathroom door that flung open. A woman came in escorting her food covered toddler to wash his hands. I stepped back and turned my face to the corner of the room for more privacy.

Nolan and I decided to stop by a diner before heading out of town. I made my escape to the restroom to call Celeste while he looked over the menu. He was taking his sweet time. How hard is it to pick out what you want to eat for breakfast? The choices are pretty limited and I’m guessing there’s a reason for that. Who wants to make such a big decision so early in the morning?

“You can’t deny this.” Celeste’s tone grew more serious. “You’ve done the whole planning thing and it’s just not something that works…”

“Wow, too soon, but thanks.” 

“I’m sorry.” She sighed. “Promise me you’ll let this play out naturally. Don’t push it away and don’t pull it too close. Just go with it.”

I fumbled with my lips as I watched the woman and her toddler walk out. The door slammed shut behind them. I was alone once again. I stood quietly as I let Celeste’s words resonate. She wasn’t entirely wrong. 

I mumbled in gibberish.

A shrieking squeal came from Celeste’s end of the phone. “That means you’ll do it?”

After we ended our conversation I pulled the book out of my purse. I stared at the cover wondering how I would ever pull something like this off. Not that I was a big believer in love or anything, but maybe Celeste was on to something, maybe this was the article I needed to write to finally make my big break.

I put the book away and splashed a handful of cold water onto my face. I mindlessly stared in the mirror as I wiped myself with a rough brown napkin. I took a deep breath in and walked back into the diner. 

“Everything okay?” Nolan asked as I sat at our table. He’d only just put the menu away.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Sorry, I just had to call my girl friend.”

Nolan’s attention diverted to the waitress that approached our table. “Are you two ready?” She asked as she pulled out a pen and pad.

“Do you need a minute?” Nolan looked at me. I could tell he was ready to eat and couldn’t wait a minute longer.

“No, I’m ready. I’ll have the scrambled eggs with toast, please.” 

“I’ll have the same, but with a side of sausage, bacon, and a cup of fruits.”

The waitress smiled and took away our menus. “I’ll have that right out for you!” She flashed us a corny grin.

I looked over at Nolan. He was so preoccupied with his phone he didn’t even know that the waitress had already pranced away. I watched as his fingers sped across the screen, occasionally dragging them up and down to scroll on what ever it was he was doing.

His eyes slowly peered upwards and stared at me questioningly. I released the tension from between my brows as my cheeks flushed with pink. I hadn’t realized how hard I was concentrating on his screen until he caught me. 

I rubbed the back of my neck and let out a soft pathetic, but mostly embarrassed, laugh. “Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. This is rude.” Nolan clicked the side button of his phone, shutting off the screen, and laid it down on the table. “I was just trying to get some work done. It’s barely 9 AM on the East coast and I’m already swamped.”

“Please,” I waved my hands gesturing for him to continue. “Don’t let me stop you.”

He smiled exposing his perfectly straight teeth. “It’s alright.” The drawl in his voice was so subtle I had only just now picked up on it. 

Seconds felt like hours as we both avoided eye contact. It was clear that neither one of us knew that this acquaintance would last longer than those couple of hours it took to drive here. 

“So-” I looked up just in time to see Nolan’s lips moving. 

“Are you-“

We obviously had the same threshold for awkward silence.

“Go ahead.” Nolan nodded his head forward.

“I was…uh…I was…” I couldn’t exactly remember what I was saying. “You know what, you go first.” This feeling felt so unfamiliar. I was never flustered like this. I could only imagine Celeste’s reaction. Her mouth would be gaping open wondering how a woman so stubborn and opinionated, and certainly filled with many words, could ever let the sight of a man distract her train of thought. 

And then suddenly it came back to me. “I was just saying-“

“Are you-“

We did it again. Or maybe I did it this time. I don’t know what had gotten into me. Why couldn’t I compose myself? I shouldn’t have called Celeste. Everything was going just fine until she had to put the idea in my head that meeting Nolan was basically fate. 

“Here’s some coffee while you wait.” Our waitress stood at the end of our table with a pot and mugs in hand. She poured some out and skipped back to the kitchen.

Silence had taken over again. We quietly maneuvered around each other pouring sugar and creamer and stirring our coffee. 

Nolan’s phone buzzed and caught both of our attention. He stared down at it for a few seconds with furrowed brows before clicking it off again.

“If you need to work please don’t let me stop you.” 

“It’s nothing.” He shook his head as he held his mug up to his mouth. “Not anything they can’t take care of themselves.”

“Are you a manager or something?” I couldn’t help but connect the dots. 

He shrugged his shoulders, unamused by the question. “I guess, something like that.”

“Well, your office is on the East coast, somewhere Southern considering your lack of pronunciation of certain words, and you mentioned you’re here for business, so you must be someone important at work.”

Nolan laughed nervously and leaned into his chair. He seemed taken back that I had so quickly picked up on him. “You must be a writer.” 

“How did you know?” If Nolan didn’t have my attention before, he certainly had it now.

He laughed again, this time entertained by the bewildered expression covering my face. “Lucky guess.” He winked and suddenly I had forgotten everything all over again.

Our waitress came with our food. 

I mainly stabbed at my eggs while trying to sneak glances of Nolan. His golden brown hair swayed gently as he leaned forward to shovel a mixture of everything on his plate into his mouth. Either he had a big appetite or it had been a while since he’d eaten.

“You’re not hungry?” He pointed to my plate with his fork. I’d taken a few bites, but it was still full compared to his.

I shrugged my shoulders, “I’m not really hungry anymore.” I said politely. What I really wanted to say was how unattractive it was to watch him inhale scrambled eggs.

Nolan looked down at his watch and took one last bite of his sausage. “We should really hit the road.”

It seemed like the weather had gotten colder in the last hour. I felt goosebumps on my arm as the cool air grazed it. I grabbed my jacket and threw it over my shoulders.

As soon as we pulled out of the parking lot a call came in for Nolan. Guessing by the way he didn’t say much except for an agreeing hum every so often and a casual, “okay,” I figured it was business. I was hoping it would be a more revealing call from his mom, or sister, or maybe even his wife. Something that wasn’t as boring as it actually was.

Wait a second, I thought to myself. I held my breath as I casually looked over pretending to admire the scenery through his side of the window. Nolan’s left hand was resting on top of the steering wheel, sans wedding ring. I exhaled a sigh of relief. I may not have been into the idea when Celeste first presented it, but I was starting to get a little too attached to the idea of this actually working out. 

Nolan’s attention was divided between the road ahead of us and the conversation he was having on the phone. This was the perfect opportunity to pull out the book and try to get in as many questions as I could.

I flipped through the pages reading parts of the introduction. I hadn’t heard of Alexander Nottingham before this, but he sounded like a total snooze. Then it dawned on me, was this how my writing was perceived? Is this why I was never able to land a job with a reputable publication? I shook my head. No way.

I grabbed the last few pages and let them fall from beneath my thumb. It stopped on a random page with a question that read, ‘do you remember the last time you sang to yourself?” 

“Sorry, I just needed a quick briefing before my meeting.” I jumped from my seat when I heard Nolan’s voice. “Hey, look it’s snowing.”

I looked up to see tiny droplets on the windshield. It was barely visible, but still enough to keep Nolan’s eyes away from me. I closed the book and slide it back into my bag. 

“What are you reading?”

My eyes widened “It’s a psychology study some professor wrote. It’s nothing exciting, but my roommate recommended it.”

The corners of Nolan’s lips curved downwards. “Sounds…like a good read.” He joked. 

I was hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions about the book, so I tried to change the subject. Unfortunately the only other thing I could think of was the last thing I read. “Hey, so when was the last time you remember singing to yourself?” 

Nolan looked at me and laughed. “That’s a really random question.”

I shrugged my shoulders trying to play it off. “I was just thinking about the last time I was in my car. I would always sing along to the radio.” 

“Huh,” Nolan exhaled. “I don’t know.” He fell silent trying to recount the moment. “I don’t think I’ve ever sang to myself.”

“Come on!” I turned towards him a little surprised. “Everyone sings to themselves once in a while.”

“Okay, okay, the last time I sang was with my nieces at a book reading.” He said matter of factly.

“That doesn’t count.” I laughed. “It wasn’t to yourself.”

He grunted as he strummed his fingers on the wheel.

“How many nieces do you have?” From what I saw of Nolan I couldn’t possibly imagine him playing with children. He looked too stiff and proper to cut loose and relax. 

He smiled as he spoke. “Two. They’re six year old twins. Love them like they were my own, but I’m glad I can go home at the end of the day.” He laughed. “How about you?”

I shook my head, “no nieces or nephews…yet. But, my sister is a total cookie cutter type. She’s accomplished just about everything, so the next step would be children.” The snow flakes on the window were becoming larger and falling faster. 

“So weird.” Nolan mumbled to himself as he picked his phone up again. “I don’t remember seeing snow in the forecast.”

A few hours had past and Nolan and I had only started breaking down the barriers. So far, I’d gathered that he’s from South Carolina and has one older brother. He’s in management for some business that he didn’t bother to explain and felt a little shy even talking about it quiet frankly.

That’s as much as I could get out of him before he’d gotten another phone call. I took the opportunity to slip out the book again. I was just about to turn the page when Nolan’s car began to slow down to a stop.

I looked up to see a couple of trucks and a police car all with their lights flashing. 

Nolan dropped his phone, hoping the officer that was approaching our car wouldn’t see. “Is there a problem?” He asked as he rolled his windows down.

“All main roads are closed until they’ve been sanded.”

“You gotta be kidding me.” Nolan’s head rolled back as he covered his eyes with his hands. “How long will that take?”

“Considering that the city wasn’t prepared for the snow storm the roads probably won’t be opened until tomorrow morning or until the ice melts.”

That’s when I heard Celeste’s voice in the back of my head. “Just go with it.”

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Chapter Three

**NEW POSTING SCHEDULE: Future post will be up on Thursdays! Also, please make sure to follow Twenty One Questions on BlogLovin by clicking the button above!**

“How do I know you’re not going to kill me?” I stared anxiously at the mysterious man standing outside of my car window. I must’ve fallen asleep and to my surprise woken up to the loud banging of his hands against my poor little car.

"Look, I'm just trying to help, okay?" He held up his hands accusingly. "It looks like you're having car troubles. I have a truck..." he said as he pointed to the charcoal gray F150 parked across the road. "I can pull you into the next town if you need."

"I'm not having car troubles." I smiled smugly. "Thanks anyway!" I waved my hand hoping he'd walk away. 

"Okay." He sighed in defeat. His hands grazed the back of his head as he began to walk away. "But, I guess I can't say I didn't try to help."

I watched as he slowly began disappearing into the darkness. My eyes glanced towards my side view mirror and then in front of me. There were no signs of life out here. Maybe I was making a mistake by letting him go. Who knows when I'd see someone again. 

I struggled to roll my window down. "Wait!" I narrowed my eyes to see him better. "What's your name?" The noise of shuffling gravel stopped when he turned to look back at me.

"Nolan...Nolan Fletcher."

"If my car did happen to die, do you know where the nearest auto shop is?"

I heard a faint sigh. If it weren't for the lifeless desert setting I'm sure I wouldn't have heard it otherwise. 

"The next town is 30 miles ahead. I know a guy who's about 10 minutes further out. This looks pretty costly, so I can ask him to help you out."

I would be lying if I didn't think this all sounded too tempting. What did I have to lose any way? Just my broken car, a backseat filled with my belongings, and oh, my life. 

I stuck my head over my window that I could only manage to roll half way down. "Okay."

There was silence for a brief second.

"Okay, what?" Nolan asked. "I thought you weren't haven't car troubles."

"Well, maybe I am." I admitted. 

I watched as Nolan shook his head and jumped into his truck. It roared to life as he revved the engine.

I gasped, mildly offended. "Wait!" I waved my hand. "Aren't you going to help me?" I wasn't sure who I was talking to, Nolan clearly couldn't hear me over the racket.

I watched as he looked at me and shook his head. His truck jumped forward as he switched the gears and began driving. 

"Oh my God," I whispered to myself. Was he seriously about to leave me here after that whole spiel about how unsafe it was?

I watched as he pulled onto the highway and drove away. My jaw was still hung open from what had just happened. 

That's when his break lights turned on. Either he was stopped in the middle of the road, or reversing his car. I couldn't exactly tell. I opened my car door and walked towards the middle of the road. I could hear rocks being crushed under his tires. I sighed with relief knowing that he was backing up his truck. He moved slowly as he parked it in front of my car.

"That wasn't funny." I angrily pouted with furrowed brows. 

Nolan laughed at my expression and rolled his eyes as he walked to the bed of his truck. "You were giving me a hard time, so I had to return the favor." He leaned forward as he pulled out some chains. "You mind coming here?" He asked as he held the chains in his hands. He squinted one eye as he looked at me. "I want to see if this'll fit around your neck." He continued to laugh as I stood there with my arms crossed. "Oh, come on, I'm just yanking your chain." He laughed louder this time. "Get it?"

I remained silent as I watched him entertain himself. 

After Nolan was done hooking the chain to my car he walked around to open the passenger side door to his truck. "After you, Miss..." His eyes looked at me questioningly.

"Harper."

"Harper..." He waited for me to finish

"Just Harper."

"Alright Just Harper." He smiled knowing full well that he'd figured out exactly how to irritate me.

By the time we finally made our way into town the skies had lightened in preparation for the morning sun. I stared out of my window for majority of the ride watching as the horizon sprung into ombre shades of orange with occasional breaks of mountains obstructing the view.

"So, where are you moving to?" Nolan asked after an uncomfortable moment of silence.

I looked at him confused. "Who said I was moving?"

"No one." He shook his head and looked in the rear view mirror. "I just figured you were with the amount of stuff piled up in your car. Either that or you have a problem."

"The latter." I lied. "I like to keep my things with me."

Nolan looked at me with a smile, unsure of whether he should laugh or not, but it quickly vanished when he saw the straight look on my face.

"You do have a home, right?" He asked nervously.

"Not really." I smiled to myself mischeviously. I mean technically I was evicted from my apartment and I was on my way to my parent's house, but he didn't need to know that. It was my turn to mess with him. "Are you weirded out that you picked up a homeless woman?"

"I mean..." He cleared his throat. Suddenly his tone was a lot more serious. "Do you know where you're going, you know, after you get your car fixed? And how exactly are you going to get your car fixed?"

"I thought you and your buddy with the auto shop were going to help me out?" I clasped my hands together as I begged. "Oh, please mister, please help this lil ole lady out!" 

I couldn't help but burst into laughter after seeing the squimish look on Nolan's face. "Oh man, I really needed that laugh. Now, I get why you were being so weird back there."

"So, you're not homeless?" He asked unsure by my manic episode.

"No, I'm moving back East." I wiped the tears from my eyes and went back to staring out of my window. The orange hues had turned to pinks and blues the further the sun rose. "L.A didn't exactly treat me too good."

The traffic began picking up once we were near civilization. I didn't feel so threatened by Nolan any more. The more time that passed the more he began looking like an average guy than a serial killer. Maybe it was just the harsh shading of the night that gave him such a smoldering look. 

"Fuck." Nolan whispered under his breath as we pulled into the empty parking lot for the auto shop. I looked at him confused. "What day is it?"

I wasn't sure myself. "...Sunday?"

He jumped out of his truck, grabbing his cell phone from the console, before he walked a good distance away. 

I watched as he paced back and forth anxiously with a concerned look on his face. After a few minutes he came back inside, shut his door and started his car.

"There might be a problem." He finally spoke. 

"Okay..." I leaned in on my elbow turning my full attention to him. 

"I forgot today was Sunday. All the shops in the city are closed. I just called Alex and he won't be able to come in either."

I swallowed empty air. "What does this mean exactly? You're just gonna abandon me in a random city?" 

"This isn't really my problem." 

"Wow," I mumbled under my breath.

"What were you going to do if I didn't pick you up?" I thought maybe be might be kidding, but the expression on Nolan's face said otherwise. "I got you this far didn't I? Maybe we can try finding a hotel for you close by here."


He wasn't entirely wrong. I didn't exactly want to hitch a ride with him, but after being in this nice clean truck that still had a new car smell, I was pretty upset I had to go back to my dinky broken down trash mobile. 

"You're right.  This isn't your problem. Can you please unhook my car?" I huffed as I flung my door open and hopped out of the truck. 

All I heard was a heavy sigh before he walked out and began pulling the chains off both of our cars. I looked around realizing how run down the area was. Maybe it was because today was Sunday and half the city was shut down, but this place really looked like a post apocalyptic scene from The Walking Dead. I shivered as I imagined zombies emerging from around the corner. 

"You can just leave your car here." Nolan dusted off his hands as he walked towards me. "Look," he pointed down the street to a motel. "Get in the car I can take you there."

"You've done enough. Thank you kind stranger, but I can walk." I gave half a smile and began my trek down the street.

By the time I made it to the first stop light I looked over my shoulder to see Nolan slowly inching his truck in the same direction I was walking. He rolled down his windows and shouted. "Can you just get in the car so I can take you there?"

"It's literally one street over." 

The signal turned green and Nolan began driving at a normal speed only to slowly down and turn into the motel's parking lot. I rolled my eyes and crossed the street to meet him there. 

"This place doesn't look too safe." He was still sitting in his truck with the windows rolled down. I looked around and I couldn't even maintain a normal expression. Unsafe was an understatement. 

We watched as a woman in metallic shorts so tiny they looked like underwear, stepped out of a rusted Camaro. She scratched the bird nest that was her hair as she chugged back on her beer and stumbled slowly and eventually to her motel room.

Nolan and I exchanged glances of concern. "I have to drive north of here for work. It's gonna be out of your way, but at least that city is more..." He fell silent trying to figure out the right word. "Lively."

"Oh God," I quickly scurried to the passenger side of his truck and jumped in. "I thought you'd never ask."

Nolan laughed as he reversed his car and went back towards the auto shop. He went out again to chain our cars together again. I began shuffling through my purse as I waited for him. The weather was really drying out my hands and I needed some lotion. 

My hand hit something hard and rectangular. I flinched not remembering putting something with it's texture in my bag. I pulled it out wondering what it could possibly be. 

21 Questions For Finding Love written by Alexander Nottingham

I sighed and rolled my head back. "Celeste..."

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Chapter Two

Maybe driving cross-country in my current state wasn't such a great idea. I knew the road in front of me was empty, so my eyes couldn't help wander to the enormous hills in the distance. A thin layer of fog gave them a beautiful hazy blue shade. It was only when I drove closer that their natural brown color revealed itself. I sighed a slow pathetic sigh.

A million things were rushing through my mind. When I finally came to terms with moving back home, I didn't realize it would be this hard. I was so fed up with overdue bills and my failure to tie down a job that I couldn't have been more ready to make the trek home. But, something had happened. Celeste. Celeste happened. Damn her! Every other song on the radio clouded my eyes with tears as I thought about my best friend that I was leaving behind. Was I really making the right choice?

Of course Celeste supported my decision, but she thought I could have stuck it out a little longer. She didn't understand though. As determined as I was, I wasn't like her. I couldn't just wiggle my way into any situation. I mean, maybe I could have taken any odd job, but I didn't spend thousands of dollars in loans to attend the college of my dreams just so I could be a barrister. I knew the right job was out there for me somewhere. It just wasn't in Los Angeles as I'd originally hoped.

My eyes jolted back to the road when a Mercedes whizzed past my car. There was a faint sound of the driver's angry curses. I threw up my hands, as if he could still see me. There wasn't much I could do about my slow speed. My car was over ten years old and filled to maximum capacity. It was dangerous enough that I was even on the highway.

I rolled my eyes and continued staring at the scenery around me. Of course the East Coast had it's own beauty, but nothing could compare to these California hills.

Ka-thunk.

My car shook in mid drive. I gripped both hands onto the steering wheel. What was that? My eyes instinctively darted to the gas meter. Of course I still had gas, I just filled up before leaving L.A. There was no way I could be out so quickly. Maybe I ran over something on the road? I looked in the rear-view mirror, but there was traffic coming up behind me so I couldn't tell. That must have been it. I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

A few seconds of honking cars and trucks zoomed past me before I was left on an empty road again.

I vigorously cranked the handle to lower my window. My arm rested on the sill as the muggy air drenched my face. I reached for a hair tie sitting in the console and tied my hair into a messy bun. I might as well look the part.

I shouldn't have stayed at Celeste's as long as I did. I could already see the sun getting ready for it's descent in my side view mirror. I had planned to be a hundred miles further than I actually was. My calculations were all wrong and now I didn't know where I would be staying for the night. As I picked up my cell phone to Google nearby hotels an incoming call popped up on my screen.

I hesitated to answer the phone. “Hey Liz.”

“Hey Harp!” My little sister, Elizabeth, immediately chirped back. “What's going on?” She asked suspiciously.

I hadn't exactly told her about my move back home. I'd already gone through enough. I couldn't bear to sit here and listen to one of her lectures. I mean the nerve she had to scold me when I was clearly the older one.

Elizabeth was more of the cookie cutter daughter that any parent would pray to have. She aced all her classes, went to a great college and graduated with a combined Bachelors and Masters. I mean, who does that? Anyway, she landed her dream job and shortly after settled down with her dream guy. To say she has a picture perfect life would be an understatement.

“Nothing...What are you up to?” I tried to divert the conversation.

“Oh nothing...” Her voice sounded annoyed, “Just wondering why you didn't tell me that you're moving back home?”

I grunted for a good five seconds. “Mom! I can't believe she told you!”

“What I can't believe, Harper, is that you told mom and not me!” She was talking in a low and firm voice. Mark, her husband, must have been home from work.

“Can you blame me Liz? Let me guess, you're calling me to tell me how much time I've wasted out in L.A, right?” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. God, I wish she could see how annoyed I was.

I heard her inhale a deep breath and sigh. “Harper, you're my sister. I just want the best for you. I want you to be able to support yourself, get married, and live a happy rest of your life.”

“Liz...”

“I don't want you to be worried about where your next pay check is going to come from.”

“Liz...”

“Look, I even found a class you could take. It's a community college course, but I know a few people who know a few people that have taken it and had success finding a stable job.”

“LIZ!” I finally had enough. “This is exactly why I didn't tell you, okay? I've had the shittiest last few days, I'm having to pack up my life and move back home to my parent's house, and I'm driving at least 30 miles slower than everyone else because my car is a piece of junk. So please, please for the love of God spare me this one time!”

For the first time Elizabeth was silent. She wasn't always like this, the nagging I mean. We were inseparable at first. Even when she was the cheerleader in high school and I was the nerd hiding out in the journalism lab. Even when she was invited to all the cool kid parties and she had to drag me along because our parents wouldn't let her go out alone. Somewhere in between her graduating college and landing a job with pretty figures and me still broke and looking for work she became an annoying concerned mother.

“You know, Mark and I could have come out there to help you move back. I'm worried that you're still driving that thing.”

I sighed when I realized by Elizabeth's tone that she had given up on her reproach. “I know, I know. I just needed the time alone I guess.”

“When do you think you'll get here?”

I watched as another set of cars raced past me. “To be honest it might take me a month driving this thing.”

We both laughed.

Ka-thunk!

The car jolted forward again. My eyes widened as I gasped loudly.

“Harper?! Is everything okay?” Elizabeth's voice grew louder

“Yeah, yeah!” I lied. “I almost hit a squirrel.”

“Really? There's squirrels in the middle of the desert?”

Shit, I thought to myself. “Maybe it was an armadillo...”

“Are you sure? That's quiet a bit of a size difference Harper.”

“Oh, hey, I gotta go. I'm getting another call!” I lied again.

“What? Uh, okay. Drive safe and don't push your limits with that car! Make sure you get a hotel before sundown and call Mark or me if you need anything...like money or anything. We can always wire it to you. Okay?”

“Okay, okay! Bye!”

Ka-thunk! Ka-thunk!

My car was starting to slow down. Please don't die, please don't die! I whispered to myself. I banged my hand against the steering wheel in desperation. To my surprise it worked! The odometer began picking up speed even going faster than I originally was. I clapped my hands in excitement. For once something went right.

I made it past two stinking exits without any luck of finding a hotel sign. There had to be something. A tiny sliver of the sun was still showing and if I didn't find a place – Oh no...No! No! No! No! No!

The lights on my dashboard shut off as my car declined in speed. I shook my steering wheel. Nothing. I gave it a couple of good punches. Nada.

That's when all the tears I'd been holding back the last few days finally exploded all over my face. It wasn't a normal sob, it was more of a violent-screaming cry. The kind where you almost instantly get a leaking nose with snot hanging out, but you could care less because you're experiencing one of the worst cries on the cry meter.

“Why! Why did this have to happen to me?” I shouted. “Haven't I been through enough?” I stared up at the sky. The sun had already set and night fallen. I had never been out of the city to see such a sight. The sky looked so beautiful filled with layers upon layers of stars, but even that couldn't distract me. I felt so alone and scared.

I punched my steering wheel again, this time with anger. The car shook and I thought by some miracle it had turned on again, but then I realized it was just another car passing me by at a totally unacceptable speed.

I looked out of my window and saw nothing. It was so dark outside and there wasn't even a single street light. I shivered wondering what could have been out there. I picked up my phone and went back to my attempt of Googling a place to stay.

“Okay Harper, woman up!” I whispered. “You can do this. You made it this far in the shit-show. You can totally do this.” I stared at my phone waiting for the screen to refresh. A few seconds had passed. Come on. An error message popped up: No Service.

I wanted to throw my phone out of the car. How can the Taliban send videos from a cave in God knows what country and I couldn't get service at the California border?

I tossed my phone to the ground and exhaled. My hand wiggled down between my seat and pulled the recliner lever up. I pushed my back to move the seat, but it didn't move. When I turned around I realized the junk in the backseat wouldn't even allow me to move an inch. I pulled the lever and repeatedly slammed the seat until it fought back and hit me in the face.

This was how I was going to die. I just knew it. The article practically wrote itself. It would be titled, “Hoarder Found At Border.” and it would read, “A woman was found cuddled up in the driver seat of a broken down Civic near the California border. Her car seemed to be filled with literary work holding on to it's binding by a single thread. Eye-witnesses claim they saw her violently beating her steering wheel and smearing a mixture of nostril fluid and mascara over her face. Investigators are still shuffling through the endless pile of her belongings to locate her ID. They have reported her as a young woman that could possibly be in her late forties by the deep bags under her eyes.”

How ironic. I spent my whole life trying to get my name published and yet a story would be written about the unfortunate events of my death. I smiled to myself. At least I could finally be recognized for something.

Maybe it was the hypnosis of the dark zen sky, or maybe it was just my body giving up, but slowly I felt my eyes drifting as my breathing slowed down into a slumber.

*** *** ***

“Hello?”

I gasped for air when a pounding shook my car.

“Hello? Are you alive?” I heard the deep voice again. “Hello?”

I rubbed my eyes and looked out of my window. There standing in front of me was a tall man with a nervous look on his face. His piercing blue eyes hidden under his tensed brows radiated in the moonlight. His lips were moving, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. I was too busy wiping the drool off of my face.

Did I actually die and go to heaven?