Chapter Twenty Two

Review: Twenty One Questions For Finding Love

Written by: Harper Marie Stevens

I'm aware that this might be written differently than most book reviews, but I felt it was necessary to tell my story.

It would be impossible to continue without mentioning the person I once was. An egotistical cynic that didn’t care much about anything except for her own success and career. I was eager to make my mark on the world. I moved to Los Angeles, a busy metropolitan city, and yet I managed to only make a single friend. We just happened to be neighbors, so who knows if she’d actually be my friend if we’d met otherwise. 

The point that I’m trying to make is I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I have my faults and now thanks to Alexander Nottingham I’ve learned to deal with them. 

When I was first given this book I almost immediately tossed it away. The idea of manipulating someone into falling in love with me seemed a bit out of my expertise. Little did I know I was the perfect candidate. 

At first the reader is given a short excerpt on the fundamentals of Nottingham’s theory. This is where you learn his strategy of asking each question in the designated order it is given. Essentially you’re building a comfort zone between yourself and your significant other. As you proceed through the questions you later find yourself leaving that comfort zone to dig for a deeper connection. 

The first time I read this book I nearly gagged. The thought of someone maybe falling in love with me seemed off putting at the very least. 

When I decided to move back to Boston I ran into some car troubles that ultimately led me to my victim. He was perfect. Talkative, optimistic, single and I’ll admit, easy on the eyes. I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to test out Nottingham’s theory. 

Rolan Gletcher* couldn’t have been an easier target. As we traveled cross country I slowly began to learn about his family dynamics and work ethics. From time to time I’d hear his phone conversations with his nieces. It would always start with screaming laughter from one end of the phone and finish with tears asking when he’d be home. “I’ll be back before you know it!” He’d convince them. Little did they know he was working hard everyday to manage his family business. I would watch as he’d conduct meetings for hundreds of staff members without breaking a sweat and then do it all over again the next day. He certainly had a sense of commitment. 

I hadn’t even made it to the tenth question before I began noticing Rolan’s fascination with me. I knew that my uptight attitude and stand-offish behavior hadn’t exactly lured him in. Instead it was the carefully articulated research from Nottingham that trick Rolan’s mind into seeing a deeper part of me. One that wasn’t verbally communicated.

I knew what was going on, it was inevitable after all. I didn’t need to finish experimenting with this theory any longer. It had already proven to successfully create intimacy from my "partner."

I kept it going anyway. At this point my research was turning into a sick obsessive interest. By following a single pattern I was able to charm my way into someone’s heart. My eyes would light up when I would think of using this theory in different situations. Maybe on a potential boss in order to land a job, or maybe to stop a police officer from writing a ticket, I could use this on anyone really.

Maybe even myself.

As time went by I began noticing a change in my daily routine. I’d gone from living in Los Angeles and struggling to wake up from the deafening sound of five separate alarms to being on a road trip with a stranger and practically jumping out of bed to see what he was up to. 

I consistently reminded myself that I wasn’t changing. It was just an experiment I was conducting and this new peppy girl I’d become was merely an act to hold up the charades. 

I was wrong.

By the twenty first question I knew it. I was never pretending. I had in fact transformed into someone I wasn't familiar with. 

I never expected this to be the outcome. I believed that if I was fully aware of how the theory worked I would be immune to it. 

Nottingham has a way of sowing in the depths of your insecurities and then helping you to nurture the growth of this potential reality of a new outlook. His theory breaks you away from those pesky stains in your mind with a simple spritz of a hard acting cleaner.

Once it’s all over you began to realize that you haven’t tricked your mind into changing. It wasn’t actually the book that made you feel this way. It was you all along. A stubborn soul who was convinced that they needed a book to find love. 

So, to conclude my review, I will give Alexander Nottingham four stars for his research, but I highly recommend not purchasing the book.

Don’t be a fool like I was. I made myself believe love was nothing but a Ponzi scheme. A fraudulent emotion that rids your mind of productivity and promises to return it with happiness only to have your heart broken in the end.

It was after I met Rolan Gletcher that I knew everything I’d believed before was just my fear of opening up. He was the first person to make me feel as though my struggles were just a tiny little molecule in a vast growing world. He faced his own set of heartbreaks, but that didn’t stop him from allowing me to explore the feeling of bliss when our emotions became mutual.

He was a stranger that stole my heart and has yet to return it.

*Name have been changed to protect the privacy of individual.

_________________________________________________________

Hello Love,

Hope you enjoyed Harper’s article! I know this week’s post is short, but I felt that separating the article from my regular post was the best thing to do in order to prepare you for next week. Speaking of…  Next week will be the FINAL post of 21 questions!!! Can’t believe we’re already at the end of our journey!!!!

Xx

Zara

Chapter Twenty One

How did you get this?” I stared at the papers in my hand. The black ink exposed the words I’d been trying to hide; my story about Nolan.

I breathe of air escaped between Calvin’s teeth as he sat back in his chair. He was gently rocking, wondering why my reaction wasn’t more enthusiastic. “You emailed it to me.” His brows furrowed and smile faded. 

“Why would I email it to you? This was private.” I looked at him accusingly. “Unless someone logged onto my computer without my permission.” My anger grew along with the accusation.

“Harper.” Calvin’s chair slightly bounced as he leaned forward. He began typing on his keyboard and turned the screen towards me. “Look.” He pointed at the email from me. “Check the time.”

I squinted as I looked at it from across the desk. It was time stamped for yesterday morning. “But…” I mumbled. “I was here yesterday morning.” We sat quietly as the memory flooded back to me. “Oh my God.” I covered my mouth. “Tech support! I meant to send the file to myself. Not you!”

“Oh.” Calvin replied in a dull disappointed voice. “So you don’t want to publish the story?”

“No!” I almost immediately responded. 

He leaned his elbows onto his desk and clasped his hands together. “Why not?”

“Calvin…” I leaned forward in my chair and sat my elbows on his desk to mimic his posture. “I can’t do that to Nolan.”

“You mentioned in the story that neither one of you speak to each other anymore. No harm no foul, right?” His hands unfolded and faced palm side up.

I thought about what Calvin said as my eyes glided back to the papers in front of me. I mean, after all, I had the intentions of writing this story before I’d even met Nolan. I couldn’t say that I wasn’t tempted.

“So?” He asked as his hands blinded once again. “Rosie is part of our book review department. I can send it her way and you two can work together to fit it within the guidelines.”

I sighed softly at first, but ended with a grunt. I didn’t know what to do. Nolan was angry at me for even drafting the idea of the article, but then again Calvin was right, we were no longer in contact with one another. There was no way he’d even know about it. “Okay.” I muttered as I bit my lip.

“Great!” Calvin leaned back and smacked his desk with the palm of his hands.

“But!” I cut him off. “I have to change the names in the story.”

“That’s fine.” He agreed. “As long as we have the review.”

“And I need to make edits before you send it to Rosie.”

Calvin gave me a look. “Harper, you better not change what you have written.” 

“Don’t worry.” I stood up from my chair. “It’ll just be a few edits. Nothing major.” I spun around and headed back to my desk.

“You looked stressed.” I heard Elise’s voice from the other side of my screen. I peeked over to see the concerned look on her face. “Did Calvin say something.”

I rolled my eyes as I briefly wiped my hands over my face. “He found a story I was writing. It was private.”

“Wow.” Her full attention was towards me. “I’ve never known Calvin to snoop.”

“Okay,” I admitted. “Maybe I accidentally sent it to him. But, regardless, it was private and now he’s pushing for me to publish it.”

“Yikes.” Her eyebrows climbed up her forehead. 

“Yeah.” I sighed. “Maybe I should share it though. I mean it was the whole purpose of my research.”

She gave me a blank stare unaware of what I was referring to.

“What would you do?” I rolled my chair out of my cubicle corner and onto her side of the desk. “If you read a book about making someone fall in love with you and decided to test the theory on a stranger you met during a cross country road trip and…” I paused for a dramatic effect. “Plot twist, not only does he fall for you, but you feel a connection with the opposite gender for the first time in…like..ever?”

She shook her head unable to process my words. “Wait, what??”

I slumped over on her desk with my head covered by my arms. 

“I don’t get it. This is a made up story? It can’t be real. Is it?” She shook my arms pleading for me to get back up and answer her questions.

“it is.” My voice was low and defeated. “Only he found out I was using him for a story and left.”

“Wait, so you thought the plot twist was that you had feelings for him? Oh my God.”

“My whole life is a plot twist.” I mumbled.

Elise covered her mouth as realization struck. “Georgina would literally lose her shit.” She repeated herself in a firmer tone. “Georgina would literally lose her shit, Harper!”

“I’m glad this is all fascinating to you.” I pushed myself off of her desk and rolled back to my side. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She rolled over to my side as she begged for forgiveness. “This is too much to comprehend.” Her hands swayed in the air as she exhaled a heavy breath. “If you publish it, aren’t you afraid he’s going to see it?”

“I thought about that when I was talking to Calvin.” I spun back around to face her. “He lives in South Carolina. There’s no way he’d see a book review from a Boson publication.” 

“In that case you should write it.”

I looked at her questioningly, “you think so?”

She nodded. “As writers it’s our duty to write by experience. We can’t hold back because we’re gonna hurt someone’s feelings. Our audience relates to us because of our truths, not because we tip toe around them. Plus, if this book helped you find love, don’t you think someone who’s actually looking deserves the chance to experience it as well?”

“You’re right.” I felt a surge of confidence. “If I can’t have my happy ending, at least some one else can.”

I pulled up my notepad document and began typing away. The words just came pouring out. I was so lost in writing that I hadn’t noticed Rosie standing beside my desk. “Oh!” I jolted back as my hand flew over my chest.

“Did I scare you?” She laughed at my reaction. “Sorry, I was just stopping by to let you know I talked to Calvin. He told me you’re writing a story for my department?”

I waited for my heart rate to stabilize before I cleared my throat and responded. “Yeah, he liked a review I wrote and wanted it published.”

Rosie nodded her head. She was hardly an inch past five foot tall. I was practically at eye level with her sitting in my chair. Her hair was short, just like her, and slicked behind her ears accentuating her jawline. “Right, right.” She nodded as she mumbled to herself. “The problem is we already have a few reviews that need to be posted.”

I pushed myself away from my desk and folded my arms across my lap. “Okay.” The word slowly escaped my lips.

“I’m sorry, Harper.” She sighed and rested the palm of her hands on my desk. “Your article will have to be pushed back two months.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. If this wasn’t a sign from the universe telling me not to write the story, I didn’t know what was. Rosie picked up on my confusion.

“Calvin just always gets so excited and even though he overlooks things, it’s each department that has a pre-set schedule and…”

I waved my hand to stop her from rambling on. “Rosie, seriously, it’s okay. I understand.” I broadened my smile to show her I wasn’t offended. “I didn’t even want to post it to begin with.”

“No, you have to.” Her resting palms turned into gentle balled up fists against the desk as she leaned her weight on them. Her voice sympathetic and calm.

I rolled my eyes and pull myself back towards my desk. “We’ll see. I guess I have two months to perfect it.” 

I smiled again reassuring Rosie I was okay. She reciprocated sympathetically before she walked back to her desk. I took in a deep breath with my face cradled between my hands. There staring back at me was my article. For all I knew this was Nolan’s energy transpiring through the air waves preventing this whole thing from happening. 

I hit the delete button on my keyboard and watched as each letter from every word began erasing, one by one and then all at once. Before I knew it the whole thing was gone. 

I closed my eyes and whispered to myself.  “You win, Nolan.” 

Exactly five seconds had past when suddenly my eyes flew open. “That’s it!” I whispered again. “That’s it!” My voice grew louder with excitement.

My fingers raced across the keyboard. I had the story the whole time and I never thought twice about it. It wasn’t Nolan story I needed to write about.

It was mine.

I’d fallen in love with Nolan within moments of meeting him. Me, the cynic. The girl that believed love was just a scam being shoved down our throats by mass media. I’ve given into my own fears because of a book written my a physiologist, who despite my denial happened the be right.

How could I have missed this. 

By the time I was done writing there were only a couple people left in the office. I’d written and rewritten and rewritten again. I was obsessively reading the words popping up on my screen from the swift stroke of my fingers on the keyboard. 

I hit the print button and watched the ink covered paper eject from the printer. My hands covered my mouth as I picked it up from the tray. This was it. 

I walked over to Rosie’s desk and left my paper with a sticky note attached.

Please reconsider 

 - Harper

I paraded back home eager for the next morning to arrive. I’d even eaten dinner early just so I could fall asleep faster.

The next morning I walked into the office to find Rosie waiting at my desk. The expression on her face looked surprised. 

“Was this the original story?” She asked me from across the office waving the papers in the air. 

“No.” I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. “It’s been written.” I’d walked up to her by this point. We stared at each other in silence before she broke out  in a smile.

“That’s it, this needs to be posted as soon as possible.”

Chapter Twenty

“Harper!” Calvin’s voice boomed through the open air office and off the concrete floor and walls. “We were just talking about you!” His hands held tightly onto a thin stack of papers as his arms flew out in the air. I stopped like a deer in headlights as a small, fairly young, crowd of people turned around to look at me. 

I hadn’t realized that a week of training flew by. The past week I was coming in each morning to an empty office. A few minutes later Jacob, Morgan and Philip would come in after me. We were all new employees at SocialCircle. Calvin was the last to come in, usually strolling in an hour later. 

Lucky for him all of our training was done over the computer. A few writing exercises to make sure our voices were cohesive, some FaceBook-esque videos on the company and how it started, and legal docs no one really cared about sprinkled in between. 

I wasn’t expecting anyone to be in the office so early let alone a meeting taking place without me. “Everyone, this is Harper. She just moved back to Boston from L.A. She’ll be working in our Politics department.”

I reached up to grab the bagel between my teeth and slowly smiled. I’d never been so intimidated. This was like high school all over again. I was the awkward mess in a room filled with guys that looked like obnoxiously loud and outgoing jocks and girls that were so well put together it was hard to believe they were real. 

“Hey Harper!” One of the younger, tall framed, jocks called out. “Hi!” Another masculine voice from across the room chimed.  “Welcome to SocialCircle,” a red headed preppy girl added. “Hey! Welcome!” said a cheery little blond. “Love those heels!” 

“Thanks.” I felt my shoulders relax and my smile widen. “Thanks everyone.”

“As you probably have assumed, this is our relocated team from New York.” Calvin reminded me. “I’ll give you a few minutes to settle while we finish up our meeting here before I introduce you to everyone.”

I nodded my head and proceeded to my desk on the other side of the office. The office had changed dramatically over the weekend. When I’d first came in here it felt cold and empty with not much to distract the eye. There weren’t any cubicle walls, which I hated, but now that the office was filled with people the flow made a lot more sense, It was how I’d imagine any company with a young demographic throughout the outskirt cities of California would look. 

“What’s going on? Am I late or something?” I looked down at my watch. It was a quarter till nine, the time I usually got to work.

Morgan shook her head and leaned over onto my desk. “The New York team came in early for a briefing before they get started.” She leaned in closer and wiggled her eyebrows. “Did you see those babes!” 

I giggled quietly, rolling my eyes. There was no doubt the New York team had some suave looking gentlemen that would fit in perfectly with the New England preps of Boston.

I turned my computer screen on and opened up the Internet browser. Part of my job was to skim through news websites and blogs before I officially started my work for the day. What Calvin didn’t know was that behind my browser I hid a notepad document with my story about Nolan.

I peeked over my absurdly large screen to make sure no one was coming and pulled the browser down. I looked at the words on the notepad document. It was almost like the words were shouting at me . 

“Never expected,” “couldn’t keep my eyes off of him,” “No longer a stranger.”

I sighed as I read the few paragraphs I had over and over again. I wasn’t planning on actually writing this, but something about it helped me to keep Nolan’s memory alive. It wasn’t like he was responding to any of my texts or calls. I needed a way to keep myself grounded. Something that made me believe that for a brief moment in time I was a human with actual emotions.

I jumped out of my seat when I felt a hand gently land on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Harper, didn’t mean to scare you.” I turned around to find Calvin standing with a tall, olive skinned guy whose dark shiny hair was parted to the side. His stubble beard was neatly lined with edges so sharp it could seriously cut someone. He looked a bit roughed like someone who only speaks from experience.

I loosened my hand that was tightly pressed against my chest. “Oh, no, it’s okay. I don’t know what’s gotten into me today.” Without being too obvious I minimized the notepad and turned my attention back to Calvin. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to introduce you to Ricky. He’s going to be covering Politics as well.” Like a proud boasting father Calvin swayed his shoulder back to take a better look at Ricky and a grin grew on his face. “He worked with some major news networks before he left us to work with Brian Williams. Lucky for me I was able to persuade him to come back when word got out about our move to Boston.”

“Wow, Brian Williams, huh?” 

Calvin held the back of his hand next to the corner of his mouth, “to be honest he wrote all the goof stuff there.” 

“Well, if you were to ask Brian, it was all written by him.” Ricky shrugged casually.

Calvin erupted into laughter. It was hard to tell who was the editor and who was the writer sucking up to his boss in this scenario. “I get it!” He inhaled a breath and smacked the side of his leg. “I get it!”

Ricky uneasily laughed along. “Yeah.” he sighed.

I tried not to laugh at how awkward the exchange was. “Nice to meet you Ricky.” I held out my hand.

“Yeah, you too.” He nodded his head in the same motion that his hand rocked, up and down, as he shook my hand. “So, L.A huh? Who were you with out there?”

“I, uh,” I froze for a second. There was no way I could possibly follow up with never having an actual writing position after Calvin had just pimped out Ricky. “I did mostly freelance work.” I nodded my head as I made myself believe what I was saying. “Yeah, mostly freelance on government and economic issues.”

“Great!” Ricky smiled. It was obvious that he was underwhelmed with my answer. “So, there’s a presidential campaign rally happening tonight, I’m sure you’ve heard, but if it’s not too late of a notice for you we can swing by and scope out the crowd. Maybe even interview some of the supporters?”

Calvin agreed, “I know it’s a bit quick, but we really need to pick up the pace and steam roll a few pieces to make sure we can meet our first deadline.”

“Of course,” I nodded along. “I’m down.”  

The truth was I couldn’t find myself interested enough. Normally I would have been ecstatic to even be involved in something like this, but since leaving Los Angeles? Not so much. I furrowed my brows at the realization as I turned back to my computer screen and gave myself a good shake. 

“Hi.” I heard another new, gentle, voice on the other side of my screen. I peered over to see a petite brunette with a messy bun on top of her head and oversized glasses sitting on her nose. She cleared her throat and her voice became louder. “I’m Elise.” She smiled.

“Harper.” I smiled back. “This feels like the first day at a new school.”

Elise laughed. “I bet.”

“What department are you in?” I asked curious to know who my new desk mate was. 

“I cover entertainment, which translates to catty twitter feuds between celebrities no one really cares about.”

I shivered. “Twitter? Who even uses that anymore?”

“Right?” She laughed along, but then shrugged her shoulders. “It pays the bills, I guess.” We both laughed. “Have you gotten a chance to meet everyone yet?” 

“You mean besides the awkward introduction when I first walked in?”

“It wasn’t awkward. Here,” she pulled her chair over to my side. “see that guy there? That’s Brock, don’t talk to him unless your seriously into pumping iron. The guy can talk to you for hours about supplements and curling techniques.” She tilted her chin and widened her eyes to emphasize just how crazy she thought he was. “And the girl to the left of him? That’s Georgina. She’s a hopeless romantic. Total nut job about meeting Mr.Right and is severely obsessed with Romantic Comedies. She used to spend her weekends in Central park hoping she’d bump into the guy that she’d fall madly in love with.” I looked at Elise without any expression. “Tell me about it. Anyway, that group there, that’s Wren, Jessica, and Alex.They were all interns last year, and then got hired after college graduation this year…”

I cut Elise off, “so you’ve been working here for a while then?”

“Since day one.” She smiled. 

“Hey Harper.” Ricky was walking back towards me after he was finally able to break free from Calvin. “Change of plans, Just got word that press is going to be allowed in a bit early today, so we should probably head over now if we want a good spot.”

“Oh, okay.” I frantically grabbed my purse from below my desk and stuck a tiny notebook inside. I tried to keep it cool in front of Ricky, but I could feel my nerves shaking beneath my skin. This was the first time I was actually going out to do something that I’d prepared my whole life for. My first ever attempt at writing a real journalism piece. 

As I was walking away Calvin walked out of his glass walled office and called out for my attention. “Harper, we’re having tech support come by later to load a new system. Make sure to back any files up to your cloud or email them to yourself. Whatever you have to do to make sure they don’t get wiped.”

“Yeah, sure.” I nodded and turned back to my desk. 

“I’ll meet you in the lobby.” Ricky said as he headed towards the elevators. 

I knew he was in a rush to get to the rally early so I began to feel panicked and instead of backing my files to a cloud, which would have taken some time, I emailed them to myself instead. A few clicks later I shut off my screen and made my way down to the lobby.

The rally was taking place at a university a few miles away. Ricky and I were able to breeze through security and snag a couple of pretty decent spots. 

The presidential candidates came out briefly to answer press questions before everything officially began. 

“Raise your hand.” Ricky nudged my arm.

“What?” I whispered aggressively. “No way!”

“Come on.” He smiled knowing that I’d never done this before. “Ask them what changes they would implement on work equality wages.”

I looked at him like he were crazy. “There’s no way I’m raising my hand. I’ll just end up embarrassing myself!”

The room quieted down as the question was asked, “Any other questions?”

Without a second to fully comprehend what was going on I felt my arm fly up into the air, with Ricky’s hand holding it up. I gasped as I looked at my hand, then him, then back at my hand. and quickly pulled it down.

“Yes, you, young lady in the purple top.” The candidate behind the podium pointed at me.

Ricky laughed and I just sat there shocked and in denial that he was referring to me.

“Hello? Is this mic on? I said you, purple top.” He struggled to read the pin adhered to my chest. “Social….Social Circle.”

Ricky nudged my arm. “Come on, I know you can do it.” He whispered.

“Uh,” I looked around the room to see cameras and microphones all turned towards me. I couldn’t feel my face. I was having an outer body experience. Was this really happening? Was I really about to ask the potential new leader of the free world a question? “Uh, If, uh, elected what changes would you, uh….” I took a gulp in mid sentence. I wasn’t prepared for his level of anxiety. I concentrated on a deep inhale and tried my best to finish. “What changes would you implement on work equality wages?”

“Work equality wages?” He laughed. “I say don’t fix something that isn’t broken. Next question.”

I turned towards Ricky, confused. “Wait, what did he just say?”

Ricky couldn’t believe it either. “Oh…my…God.” It felt like he were talking in slow motion. “You just hit a gold mine!” He began laughing in excitement as the crowd of press went crazy. Flashing pictures, aggressively asking what he meant by his answer.

It turned out to be the highlight and topic for the rest of the night. Every news station plastered the words all over their channels.

It was half past seven by the time we were able to leave the rally. I was still on my high from earlier that day. Ricky and I both left laughing from sheer adrenaline.

“How’d you know?” I asked him.“… that I’d never done this before?”

Ricky’s laughter dulled down. “You were a little reluctant talking about your experience at the office. Plus, your face once we got in there was a dead giveaway.”

I rubbed the back of my neck embarrassed.

“My first big break was when my mentor put me on the spot. Did the same thing I did to you.” A slight curve formed at the corner of his lip.

“Really?”

“Yup.” He nodded. “Although I can promise you the rush never goes away.”

We both continued to laugh.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve been honest about my experience. It’s not exactly fair that your stuck with someone who hasn’t done this before.”

He gave me a look. “Are you kidding? You single handedly changed the whole conversation of his political career. He’s been outed as a money hungry sexist scumbag.”

“Well,” I shrugged. “I can’t exactly take the credit.”

After we left I went back home just in time for dinner. Elizabeth and Mark were over. As soon as I walked in I turned on the TV and put it on the news coverage for the rally. I watched as the anchor sure enough angrily spoke about wage equality and the candidates lack of support. 

I spent all of dinner and the rest of the night telling the story over and over again in every different angle that I could. Each time my family became more and more impressed. This is all I’d wanted since I started my career. To feel like what I was doing was making a difference. I was on a high and there was no coming down. It was exactly the confidence booster I needed.

The next morning I strolled into work with my shoulders held up high and a smile from ear to ear.

“Hey!” I ran right into Morgan as I stepped in. “Ricky told me about last night. That’s so awesome! Good job!”

I smiled. “Thanks!”

As I sat at my desk I heard Calvin’s voice from across the room. “Hey, Harper, can you come to my office?” 

I continued smiling knowing he was going to ask me about the rally and I would happily relive the whole story.

“Hey, how’s it going?” He asked, not giving me enough time to answer. “Just wanted to ask what this was.” He handed me a paper and with one quick glance my smile vanished and my eyes widened.

It was my story on Nolan.

Chapter Nineteen

“Well you don’t look half as terrible as I thought you would.” My younger sister Elizabeth barged in through the front door without even a knock. My mom, who was cooking breakfast in the kitchen, and my dad, reading the daily newspaper in his normal spot on the Lazy Boy, hadn’t even flinched. She must have done this often.

My face tensed as I stood up from the dinner table. I’d been up since dawn updating my resume and writing samples. Needless to say my papers were spread everywhere with my laptop planted in the middle. I began shuffling the papers into a neat stack. “Nice to see you too?”

“Oh,” Elizabeth waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss my stale reaction. “I meant because mom said you were a mess when you came home yesterday.”

“Wow, thanks mom.” I looked over my shoulder into the kitchen, but she didn’t seem too apologetic. She just gave me a shrug.

“You actually look great!” Elizabeth pranced over and stood next to me with her arms spread wide. 

My expression only exaggerated as I stared at her. “This is so weird.” We’d grown apart since college and hugging wasn’t exactly our thing anymore. Not to mention the peppy behavior coming from Elizabeth’s end. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her so animated. Once she entered the world of a professional career she’d become a robot. “What’s going on with you?” I asked as I slowly crept into the hug.

“I’m just happy to see my big sis, that’s all.” She squeezed me tight despite my lack of a response. “What’s this?” She asked as she slipped through the loose grip I had on her and began ruffling through my papers.

“Hey, don’t mess with those.” I snatched it from her hands and shut my laptop. “I have them organized by company.”

“So, you’re sticking to the writing thing, huh?” There she was, the judgmental Elizabeth I’d grown so fond of. Note sarcasm.

“It’d be a waste if I didn’t, right?” I forced a smile so tight my eyes squinted. 

She folded her arms and finally gave up her peppy charades. Her body leaned against the back of the dinning table chair “Harper, I’ve already talked to a few of my colleges about getting you into that class we talked about. Once you have that certification I can find a position for you at my job.”

I laughed as I began packing my things into my portfolio. “Yeah, so I can work at my younger sister’s company in a position significantly…” My eyes jolted up to meet hers. “lower than her’s? No thank you!”

“I don’t understand you, Harper.” She threw her hands up in frustration. “We’re all just trying to help you and you won’t take it. How much longer are you going to put us through this? You’re nearly thirty for crying out loud.”

I stopped packing my things and stood like a deer in headlights. My mom had just turned off the stove vent and the depth of silence in the room only grew. I inhaled a shallow breath, “I’m sorry I’m such a burden on you all.”  

Before Elizabeth could say another word, I walked away. My mom tried to stop me to make sure I ate breakfast before I left, but there was no need. My appetite was gone.

I sat in my car for a few minutes as I looked around at all the junk. I hadn't completely unpacked. There were still a couple of boxes and papers and books spread across the floor. I began contemplating whether I should walk back inside and accept Elizabeth’s offer to help, when I noticed how dingy my dashboard was. The offer wasn't something I wanted, but at least I'd be able to afford a better car. I gave it another minute’s thought before I turned my key and pulled out of the driveway.

I spent a lot more time than I would have liked trying to find a free parking spot. Apparently since the last time I’d been in town they no longer existed. Which is why I parked half a mile outside of the city and walked. The entire time I thought maybe I’d made a mistake pulling out of the drive instead of walking back inside the house.

I walked from building to building and floor to floor handing out my resume to every publication I was able to find. At one point I’d seen a sign for a company so small, their name was written in Sharpie on a blank sheet of paper taped to the door. Something about it seemed ironic, so I shrugged and went in anyway. 

“Hi.” I smiled at the first person I saw. I’m guessing the black haired girl wasn’t exactly where she was supposed to be. She looked up at me confused. Her hands were inside of a drawer, completely still, as she stared at me through her glasses. 

“Oh, hi.” Her voice matched perfectly with her tiny body frame. “Can…" she spoke reluctantly, “I help you with something?” 

“I was looking for the Editor?” I peered over her head into the empty office behind her. In the far distance was an older gentleman sitting beyond a glass walled office. “Or maybe an office manager?”

“He’s not in.” She stood up from her seat hoping to block my view, but I was a good foot taller than her.

I smiled and looked at her with the same baffled look she’d given me earlier. “Who is that over there?” I pointed to the man.

“No one.” She wiggled her head around until she’d diverted my attention away from him and back to her. “You can leave a note.”

“Okay.” I dragged the word out as my brows furrowed. “I just wanted to drop off my resume and a sample in case your company had any openings.” I pulled the papers out of my bag and handed it to her.

She didn’t even bother looking at them as she set them down on the desk in front of her. “Alright.”

There was a moment of awkward silence as I watched her go about what she’d been trying to do before I’d interrupted her. “Right.” I whispered to myself. “I’ll just go.”

I headed down to the first floor of the building when I realized that was my last stop. I’d spent the whole day walking through downtown without a single prospective job opportunity. If I wasn’t regretting walking back into the house to accept Elizabeth’s offer, I definitely was now.

“Got any spare change?” I was walking through an alley way as a short cut to the parking lot with my car when I heard a grumpy low voice over my shoulder.

I looked over and at first didn’t see anyone, so I kept walking. “Hey lady!” I heard the grumpy old voice again, except louder this time. I looked down to see a homeless man sitting inside of a tent made with raggedly boxes.

I stopped in my tracks as he scooted out and limped over to me. His hair was every shade of gray and dirty. Dreads were beginning to form from the lack of hygiene. I’m sure he wasn’t as old as the deep wrinkles on his face suggested he was. I could tell by his darkened tan skin it was due to sun damage. “Change?” He asked again. 

“Oh.” He looked annoyed when I jerked. He knew I was examining his appearance by the look on my face. “I uh…” I dug around in my purse. There was a ten dollar bill sitting at the bottom, but I knew I needed it to get gas for my way back home. “I’m sorry.” I shrugged.

He shook his head in disappointment. “I haven’t eaten in days.” 

I frowned as I looked down at the ten dollar bill again. I dug around in my purse some more until I heard loose change. I smiled as I found fifty cents and handed it to him.

“What is this?” He looked at it in disgust.

“It’s change…like you asked.”

“The hell am I gonna get for fifty cents?” He said angrily before spitting on me.

I gasped as I stood back with my arms spread wide. He couldn’t have given less of a shit. He limped back into his little box tent and had the audacity to pull down a dirty used rag to cover the opening.

“EW!” I shouted. “EW! EW! EW!” I waved my hands over my face as I freaked out. I didn’t want to touch the spit with my hands, but it didn’t matter because it was touching the skin of my face anyway. 

I pulled out an empty gum wrapper I had in my bag and carefully tried to clean it off. I felt my stomach turning. I was going to be sick. I threw the gum wrapper to the floor and ran back into the building. The concierge looked at me funny as I scrambled past him and into the first floor restrooms.

I couldn’t have pushed the soap dispenser more than I had in that single second. I rubbed the soapy liquid off my face and repeatedly rinsed it with scolding hot water as I flinched in pain each time.

After a few minutes when I finally felt slightly cleaner I grabbed a handful of folded napkins from a basket sitting on the counter and patted myself dry. As I walked over to the trash can I couldn’t help but lean against the wall to catch my breath. A steady deep inhale and exhale suddenly turned into tears. I covered my face with the wet napkins as my body slowly slouched to the ground. 

This was karma. This was definitely karma, I thought to myself. My luck was only getting worse and why shouldn’t it? After what I had done to Nolan? Just thinking his name made my quiet sobs turn into a loud wailing cry. I gave myself a good five minutes to let it out before I picked myself back up. I walked over to the mirror and splashed cold water on my face. After a few adjustments, I threw my napkins away and walked out of the bathroom.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I’d bumped into someone on my way out. 

The man looked over his shoulder at me as he spoke. “It’s okay.” He said as we looked back forward. He quickly looked over his shoulder again. “Are you okay?”

I tried to casually cover my red face as I walked away. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Hey, weren’t you the one that was just in my office?” I stopped walking and looked at him again. That’s when I realized he was the man sitting behind the glass walled office.

“Yeah.” I nodded, “I came in to drop off a copy of my resume.” My voice was pitchy, so I cleared my throat. “Sorry, I’m not having such a great day.”

“My apologies. My daughter was at the front desk when you walked in. I told her not to disturb me while I was on a business call and she assumed I meant everyone and not just her. She told me what happened afterwards, so I came down here hoping to find you.”

My ears perked up. “You were looking for…me?” I asked shyly.

“I skimmed over your sample. It was excellent.” He smiled as he tucked his arms across his chest.

I was at a loss for words. “Thank you.” I managed to mumble. 

“Would you be interested in a reviewer position?” He asked unsure if I’d be interested.

I took a second to think about it. “Your office, it was empty. Why is that?”

He laughed. “We just got the office today. Our company is expanding from New York. We review restaurants, markets, independent shops, services…you get the idea. The twist is that our company adds a mix of pop culture, like reviewing fashion trends and discussing  the latest craze. It’s like if Buzzfeed and Yelp had a baby. Because we're so in tuned with our audience the places and things we suggest end up with enormous business.” He continued talking when my only response was a blank stare. “That’s why we’re here in Boston. We had so much success it was the only right move.” He smiled at his own accomplishment.

I smiled back, weakly, still distraught from the events that had just taken place a few moments earlier. 

“So, would you be up for it?” He began rambling again. “I mean, you wouldn’t officially start until next week when the team is here, but I’m training a few people this week.”

“Yes,” I nodded my head slowly at first. “Yes…Yes, of course yes!” 

He laughed at my eagerness. “I’m Calvin, by the way.” He held out his hand. 

“Thank you, Calvin.” Both my hands engulfed his into a sandwich as I shook it. “You just made my day a million times better.” I smiled.

He smiled back. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning then?” I nodded my head again.

I spun around, my mood a hundred percent different than when I’d stormed in here, and walked back to my car…The long way.

That evening when I’d gotten back home Elizabeth was still there. She was sitting at the dinner table with my parents, eating. 

“Hey, honey.” My parents greeted me as I walked in. “We would have waited for you, but I wasn’t sure how much longer you’d be gone. Come, join us.”

“It’s okay.” I huffed as I looked at Elizabeth. “I’m not very hungry.” I kicked off my heels and walked past the dinner table to my room.

I shut the door behind me and spun around, kicking my knees high up towards the sky, as I celebrated. I finally plopped down on the bed when I’d fully exhausted myself. That’s when Elizabeth knocked on my door and asked to come in. 

“You should come eat, Harper. You didn’t even have breakfast this morning.” Her head leaned against the door.

I sat up and sighed. “I’m fine.”

She fidgeted with the door knob before she welcomed herself in. “I’m sorry Harper. I feel horrible about what I said.”

I remained quiet as I watched her close the door behind her and come sit next to me. “I just hate seeing you like this. I want you to have the things that I have. It sucks, you know? When you see your sister, your best friend, struggling and you just want to give her what you have.”

“Best friend?” I looked at her questioningly.

“Okay, maybe we aren’t as close as we use to be, but I still love you, Harp. I just hate that you’ve distanced yourself from me. Just because we took different paths doesn’t mean we can’t still be the best friends we use to be. I mean I even took off of work today hoping we could rekindle the old Harp and Liz.”

“Really?” Elizabeth nodded her head. “Liz, you know I still love you, right? You’re my baby sister. I always felt like you were the one distancing from me because you looked down on what I was doing. I guess that's why I'm always so defensive right off the bat.”

She reached over and held my hand. “I may not understand why you chose the career you’ve chosen and I admit I give you a hard time about it, but that’s because you moved away from me and I was a little hurt. To be honest I was jealous too because a part of me wish I could have been as bold. I might act bitter but that doesn’t mean I look down on you. It’s like…tough love.”

I shook my head as I smiled. “I've just been in a tough place emotionally since I've been home, so I might have been a little too aggressive this morning. I mean that was sweet of you to offer help, but I don’t need life advice from my little sister.” I said as I playfully pushed her head away. She laughed and pushed my shoulder back. 

“Friends?” She held out her arms for a hug. I nodded and leaned in to hug her back. Unlike the morning, this was more heartfelt and healing. It felt right. 

“How did it go today?”

My brows furrowed as I laughed. “The first half wasn’t so great, but I think I might have found what I’ve been looking for.”