Chapter Eight

Finding Common Ground

  Opposites do attract, but it is also important in relationships to build a common bond. Knowing where your partner is coming from in their past life and understanding which path they are choosing to take for the future is key. No matter how different two people may be it isn’t until we truly find common ground that we embark on a journey that ultimately binds us together. 

1. Have a three minute conversation with your significant other examining your current similarities. Then continue the conversation and explore where the similarities lie in your future.

1. Break down the walls of vulnerability and tell your partner what you like about them. Don’t be shy. 

1. It is important to understand your partner without verbal communication. Spend the next minute staring into each others eyes in silence.

“Gag.” I mumbled as I tossed the book back into my purse. Celeste never mentioned anything about exercises in this book. It was intimidating enough trying to naturally weave these questions into a conversation, but now this Nottingham guy wants me to physically put in work?

I sat in the passenger seat of Nolan’s truck as I watched as he exited the gas station and walked towards me. His grin turned into a full on smile as he opened his door.

“Ding dongs!” He exclaimed as a package of snacks came flying at me. I yelped as I protected my face with my hands.

“Excuse me?” I peeked through my fingers and carefully picked it up by it’s corners.

“I haven’t seen these in years! I use to eat them all the time when I was a kid.” Nolan excitedly ripped open the packaging as if he were looking for The Golden Ticket. His attention diverted to me after he’d taken a bite and realized I wasn’t reciprocating the same pleasure he was obviously feeling. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a Ding Dong before.” 

“What are these things?” I looked at them in pure curiosity. 

“Harper.” He took the package from my hand and opened it. “It’s the cheapest form of happiness you can buy.” He took one out and handed it over. “It’s a tiny chocolate cake filled with goodness. How have you never had this before?”

“Oh my God.” I covered my mouth as I chewed an embarrassingly huge bite. I stared at Nolan with wide eyes.

“You’re welcome!” He laughed as he shifted his gears and headed back onto the high way.

The weather seemed to be clearing up the further we drove into the Midwest. It was astonishing to see dead brittle trees slowly growing into life every hour that we continued to drive down the road. Once we’d gotten to our next destination, er, I mean Nolan’s next destination, it was early in the evening and the sun was just a couple of hours away from saying it’s goodbye.

Nolan had another meeting at his family’s store. We both went inside where he introduced me to the team and then disappeared behind closed doors. I waited with a few of the ladies that worked in the bakery. They seemed to be a bit older and definitely a chatty bunch with a lot to say about Nolan. Of course I pretended not to listen only to have my ears glued to the conversation.

“Such a shame he won’t settle down.” A tall red headed woman shook her head as she kneaded a slab of dough.

A shorter, more stubby, woman carrying a tray of unbaked bread walked behind her and said, “would you blame him after…her?”

Who ever “she” was didn’t seem too popular around here. The other women contributed a rumble of grunts in an agreement of how annoyed they were by the thought of this girl.

I didn’t realize the expression my face was making until the youngest looking one of the old lady bakery gang noticed my amusement. “Oh, not to say he wouldn’t settle down with you. It’s just he’s been through some things. Really though, you seem like a great fit for him.”

“No, no,” I shook my head vigorously as I laughed. “Absolutely not.” I hesitated to explain our situation at first, but decided to go with, “we’re just friends. He’s helping me move.”

They all nodded their head as if I were telling a horrible lie.

“Well whatever the situation is…” The tall red headed woman shrugged, “we’re just happy she’s no longer part of the picture.” 

I smiled and turned towards the younger looking woman. “So, what’s the story on this girl?” I whispered. To my surprise she didn’t answer. I didn’t want to come off as desperate for information, but I kind of needed something to work with if I wanted my article to have any sort of substance. 

I stared at her blankly as I waited for a response. Instead her eyes moved up and over my shoulder. 

I turned around to see Nolan standing behind me. He smiled, “ready?” I took a gulp of air hoping he hadn’t heard me and nodded my head. Nolan thanked the team again before we left.

Once we were on the road again I decided to give into the exercises from Nottingham’s book. Maybe they could help me break down Nolan’s walls a little bit more. 

“Isn’t it funny that we both have sisters that are married with children?” I wasn’t sure why I placed such a heavy emphasis on the word we as if Nottingham were here listening to our conversation. 

Nolan’s lip curled in as he nodded. “It seems pretty normal for people our age to have siblings that have already settled down, don’t you think?”

Alright Mr. Sass, I really need you to cooperate with this exercise. 

“Yeah, no, for sure.” I stumbled on my words as I tried to find a way to recover. “I just meant, you know, we’re both career orientated, we’re both family people, we aren’t focused on finding a significant other…” This wasn’t actually as hard as I thought it would be. 

Nolan cut me off before I could continue the list. “Are you referring to what the ladies in the bakery were talking about?”

I tried to play dumb.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to spare my feelings. Besides the acoustics in the bakery are a little more intensified. I’ve tried telling them that before, but they already have a hard time hearing.”

“Look, I wasn’t trying to snoop in your business.”

“It’s okay. It’s human nature.” He sighed. “If you must know, my last girlfriend was a bit of a… control freak. She would come on these drives with me to make sure nothing else was going on, and trust me I’m not that type of guy. She just didn’t understand why I chose to drive instead of fly.”

“Wow,” I whispered. “Was she not aware of…” I wasn’t sure how sensitive of a topic Nolan’s mother was. It had taken a lot for him to finally open up to me about it, and I didn’t want to push any buttons.

“I guess I never built that foundation with her.” He paused for a moment before he continued. “Anyway, the ladies think I should settle down, but it’s unsolicited advice really. I’m just trying to step up in my career. I guess it isn’t off the table, but maybe when I meet the right one, you know?”

“Yeah.” Weirdly I knew exactly how Nolan felt. Finding my significant other wasn’t a priority, my career was. I may not have been comfortable in the murky water of L.A’s dating pool, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want what my sister seemed to happily have. Timing was everything. “I know.” I sighed as I looked out of the window.

A few stars twinkled in the sky as the sun was finally gone for the day. 

“You know what I like about you, Nolan?” I asked as I kept a heavy gaze on the stars. “I like how honest you are.”  I heard a slight release of air through Nolan’s mouth almost like a muted laugh. I turned towards him to catch half a grin on his face as he drove. “You aren’t closed off. You tell it like it is. It’s refreshing.”

I looked ahead when I felt the car slowing down to a stop. We must have been approaching a big city. Traffic was backed up and at a stand still. This is my moment, I thought to myself. I was one awkward stare-off away from completing the exercise. 

“Hey, I think I have an eyelash in my eye.” I lied. ”Do you mind checking it?” 

He leaned in as he turned towards me. My eyes were glued to his. I almost felt like I was violating him by how deep I was able to look into his eyes. I wasn’t expecting this to be so hard. Knowing the little bit I knew about him made me question the reflections bouncing back at me. How could his ex girlfriend look into these eyes and not see it’s purity? How could someone bring life to these eyes and then abandon them? How could…

Oh shit. I blinked my eyes quickly before I pulled away. “I think it’s out.” I lied again. “Thanks anyway.” I mumbled as I sunk into my seat. I shut my eyes tightly and turned away. There was no way I was actually starting to form feelings for a man I hardly knew.