Chapter Fifteen

“Harper?” The slight curves of Nolan lips slowly began to fall flat as the concern on his face grew. 

What felt like an eternity to me was actually only a few seconds. In that moment I’d already imagined a hundred different ways in which this conversation was going to end. Unless, of course, I did exactly what I’d been doing this whole trip and lied to Nolan…one last time.

I exhaled a gust of air from my lungs. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Nolan asked as he set the book down on the window bench and stood in front of me. This was it, if I distracted him enough he’d forget about the whole thing.

“Sorry.” I took in another breath and exhaled. “I just, I…I had the hiccups!” 

“Oh.” Nolan’s look of concern quickly dissolved. “You looked like you were about to pass out or something.”

“Yeah, sorry, dramatically holding my breath is the only way I can ever get rid of them.” I nervously laughed as I tugged on his arm, trying to pull him away from the library nook. “Hey, are you sure you got everything from your room?” 

Nolan and I began walking back towards the stairs. Just when I thought I was getting away with the whole thing a spark lit up his face. “Wait,” he turned back around to pick up 21 Questions from the window bench. “I should put this back.” 

I smiled at him approving his good deed, but on the inside my bodily functions had taken another momentary break and they weren’t going to resume until that God forsaken book was back on the shelf. 

I watched in silence as he skimmed through the shelf to find it’s original spot. He glanced at the book one more time. Don’t do it, Nolan. Don’t do it. The voice in my head chanted.

My eyes shut slowly in disappointment when he did exactly what I didn’t want him to do. Nolan’s finger ran across the pages of the book causing them to flutter open. “I don’t know why I was even reading this.” He laughed. “I guess a couple of the questions caught my attention.”

I peeked through my lashes. Nolan had stopped on a random page as he read one of the question’s aloud. “Doesn’t that sound familiar?”

“What do you mean?” I used every muscle in my body to force myself to walk towards him.

“I mean, some of these questions sound like the ones you asked me.” His eyes questioningly glanced up at me.

I rolled my eyes as I grabbed the book from Nolan’s hand. “Let me see.” I couldn’t actually make out the words on the page because my vision was hazed from sheer terror. I huffed and skipped to another page, and then another, and then another, making sure to laugh at how ridiculous each one was as I past it.  I shut the book and placed it back on the shelf, where it should have never left. “Nolan, these are such typical questions.”

Nolan shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It just seemed a little weird, you know?”

“The only concerning thing is that this guy probably made a killing off of a book filled with all these cliche questions.” I laughed uneasily as I looked over at Nolan. The corner of his lips curved into half a smile as he came to the realization that I might have been right.

“Come on!” I tugged his hand as I walked away. 

“Why are you in such a hurry to leave?” He stood behind me as his arms wrapped across my body and his chin lied gently on my shoulder. “Did you really have that terrible of a time with me that you’re so eager to go home?” 

I was in such a rush to get Nolan out of the library nook that I’d completely forgotten where our next destination was; home. I turned around and held Nolan’s face between my hands. “I don’t want this to be the last time we’re together.” I didn’t even think about what I was saying, I just said what I’d come to feel. It was weird to be so attached to something I’d only just discovered and yet have such a strong connection with. This wasn’t the same Harper who left L.A. This wasn’t even the Harper I knew growing up. This was a new Harper that had only just found herself.

The room was silent as we stared at one another. A few seconds went by before Nolan laughed. “Well, of course I don’t want this to be the last time either.”

“Then?” I asked in all seriousness. My hands gently fell down to his shoulders and rested around his neck. “Why can’t you just make a Fletcher’s in Boston? I’m not just saying that because I used to shop at Fletcher’s in L.A and I’m really disappointed that there isn’t one in my hometown, but really, Boston is a big city you’d be hitting a great market!” My words were spewing out a mile a minute. 

Nolan continued to smile and nod the same way you would when a child is telling a ridiculous story and you’re just trying to go along with it because they’re a child who knows nothing. 

“Nolan.” I said disapprovingly.

“Not only has staying here with you been more than I could ever expect, but our whole trip together has been a whirlwind. I really like you, hell, you’re the first girl I’ve ever been fascinated with, but it’s not that easy.” He brushed my hair away from my face, resting his fingers beneath my chin to stop my disappointment. “My family is in South Carolina. My business is there. My whole life is there. I can’t just uproot and leave everything behind.”

I sighed heavily as I looked away. 

Nolan nudged my chin to regain my attention. “Come with me.”

I leaned my head back to get a better look. 

“I know South Carolina isn’t ideal for you, but just come with me for now until we can figure something out.”

I hesitated to answer. In all honesty I wanted to say yes a million times over, but that’s when old realistic Harper conveniently made an appearance just in time to crush my hopes. I needed to go back home because it was the financially responsible thing to do. I had to find a job and settle my debts once and for all. I couldn’t just let the suave, handsome, tall, rugged yet sensitive, mesmerizing blue eyed…snap out of it Harper!

I sighed. 

I couldn’t just swoon over Nolan and let him take me away from everything I’d been trying to accomplish my whole life. I needed to hit the restart button and that began with going home.

“Okay.” I nodded.

“Okay, you’ll come?” Nolan’s hands were planted on my shoulders as he took a step back.

“Yes, I’ll come with you.” I heard her yelling at the top of her lungs. Old Harper wasn’t happy. Maybe she was right about going home, but I couldn’t let her win again. She’d been so miserable the last few years that I was slowly convinced that I’d been her the whole time. The truth was, I never was her. She was a pessimistic ego-maniac that slowly settled her way into my soul with every crushing disappointment that came my way. Instead of holding my ground and believing things could get better, I let her become me. 

Nolan leaned in and kissed my forehead. It was almost like a moment of magic. As I closed my eyes and opened them, her voice was gone. All it took was putting my happiness first.

“Since we’re close enough to your parent’s house maybe we can swing by to drop off your car and stuff.” I held Nolan’s hand that was draped over my shoulder as we walked out of the bed and breakfast. “You can pack the things you’ll need and we’ll head down from there.”

I looked up at him and smiled, “sounds like a good idea to me.”