Chapter Twenty One

How did you get this?” I stared at the papers in my hand. The black ink exposed the words I’d been trying to hide; my story about Nolan.

I breathe of air escaped between Calvin’s teeth as he sat back in his chair. He was gently rocking, wondering why my reaction wasn’t more enthusiastic. “You emailed it to me.” His brows furrowed and smile faded. 

“Why would I email it to you? This was private.” I looked at him accusingly. “Unless someone logged onto my computer without my permission.” My anger grew along with the accusation.

“Harper.” Calvin’s chair slightly bounced as he leaned forward. He began typing on his keyboard and turned the screen towards me. “Look.” He pointed at the email from me. “Check the time.”

I squinted as I looked at it from across the desk. It was time stamped for yesterday morning. “But…” I mumbled. “I was here yesterday morning.” We sat quietly as the memory flooded back to me. “Oh my God.” I covered my mouth. “Tech support! I meant to send the file to myself. Not you!”

“Oh.” Calvin replied in a dull disappointed voice. “So you don’t want to publish the story?”

“No!” I almost immediately responded. 

He leaned his elbows onto his desk and clasped his hands together. “Why not?”

“Calvin…” I leaned forward in my chair and sat my elbows on his desk to mimic his posture. “I can’t do that to Nolan.”

“You mentioned in the story that neither one of you speak to each other anymore. No harm no foul, right?” His hands unfolded and faced palm side up.

I thought about what Calvin said as my eyes glided back to the papers in front of me. I mean, after all, I had the intentions of writing this story before I’d even met Nolan. I couldn’t say that I wasn’t tempted.

“So?” He asked as his hands blinded once again. “Rosie is part of our book review department. I can send it her way and you two can work together to fit it within the guidelines.”

I sighed softly at first, but ended with a grunt. I didn’t know what to do. Nolan was angry at me for even drafting the idea of the article, but then again Calvin was right, we were no longer in contact with one another. There was no way he’d even know about it. “Okay.” I muttered as I bit my lip.

“Great!” Calvin leaned back and smacked his desk with the palm of his hands.

“But!” I cut him off. “I have to change the names in the story.”

“That’s fine.” He agreed. “As long as we have the review.”

“And I need to make edits before you send it to Rosie.”

Calvin gave me a look. “Harper, you better not change what you have written.” 

“Don’t worry.” I stood up from my chair. “It’ll just be a few edits. Nothing major.” I spun around and headed back to my desk.

“You looked stressed.” I heard Elise’s voice from the other side of my screen. I peeked over to see the concerned look on her face. “Did Calvin say something.”

I rolled my eyes as I briefly wiped my hands over my face. “He found a story I was writing. It was private.”

“Wow.” Her full attention was towards me. “I’ve never known Calvin to snoop.”

“Okay,” I admitted. “Maybe I accidentally sent it to him. But, regardless, it was private and now he’s pushing for me to publish it.”

“Yikes.” Her eyebrows climbed up her forehead. 

“Yeah.” I sighed. “Maybe I should share it though. I mean it was the whole purpose of my research.”

She gave me a blank stare unaware of what I was referring to.

“What would you do?” I rolled my chair out of my cubicle corner and onto her side of the desk. “If you read a book about making someone fall in love with you and decided to test the theory on a stranger you met during a cross country road trip and…” I paused for a dramatic effect. “Plot twist, not only does he fall for you, but you feel a connection with the opposite gender for the first time in…like..ever?”

She shook her head unable to process my words. “Wait, what??”

I slumped over on her desk with my head covered by my arms. 

“I don’t get it. This is a made up story? It can’t be real. Is it?” She shook my arms pleading for me to get back up and answer her questions.

“it is.” My voice was low and defeated. “Only he found out I was using him for a story and left.”

“Wait, so you thought the plot twist was that you had feelings for him? Oh my God.”

“My whole life is a plot twist.” I mumbled.

Elise covered her mouth as realization struck. “Georgina would literally lose her shit.” She repeated herself in a firmer tone. “Georgina would literally lose her shit, Harper!”

“I’m glad this is all fascinating to you.” I pushed myself off of her desk and rolled back to my side. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She rolled over to my side as she begged for forgiveness. “This is too much to comprehend.” Her hands swayed in the air as she exhaled a heavy breath. “If you publish it, aren’t you afraid he’s going to see it?”

“I thought about that when I was talking to Calvin.” I spun back around to face her. “He lives in South Carolina. There’s no way he’d see a book review from a Boson publication.” 

“In that case you should write it.”

I looked at her questioningly, “you think so?”

She nodded. “As writers it’s our duty to write by experience. We can’t hold back because we’re gonna hurt someone’s feelings. Our audience relates to us because of our truths, not because we tip toe around them. Plus, if this book helped you find love, don’t you think someone who’s actually looking deserves the chance to experience it as well?”

“You’re right.” I felt a surge of confidence. “If I can’t have my happy ending, at least some one else can.”

I pulled up my notepad document and began typing away. The words just came pouring out. I was so lost in writing that I hadn’t noticed Rosie standing beside my desk. “Oh!” I jolted back as my hand flew over my chest.

“Did I scare you?” She laughed at my reaction. “Sorry, I was just stopping by to let you know I talked to Calvin. He told me you’re writing a story for my department?”

I waited for my heart rate to stabilize before I cleared my throat and responded. “Yeah, he liked a review I wrote and wanted it published.”

Rosie nodded her head. She was hardly an inch past five foot tall. I was practically at eye level with her sitting in my chair. Her hair was short, just like her, and slicked behind her ears accentuating her jawline. “Right, right.” She nodded as she mumbled to herself. “The problem is we already have a few reviews that need to be posted.”

I pushed myself away from my desk and folded my arms across my lap. “Okay.” The word slowly escaped my lips.

“I’m sorry, Harper.” She sighed and rested the palm of her hands on my desk. “Your article will have to be pushed back two months.”

I couldn’t help but smirk. If this wasn’t a sign from the universe telling me not to write the story, I didn’t know what was. Rosie picked up on my confusion.

“Calvin just always gets so excited and even though he overlooks things, it’s each department that has a pre-set schedule and…”

I waved my hand to stop her from rambling on. “Rosie, seriously, it’s okay. I understand.” I broadened my smile to show her I wasn’t offended. “I didn’t even want to post it to begin with.”

“No, you have to.” Her resting palms turned into gentle balled up fists against the desk as she leaned her weight on them. Her voice sympathetic and calm.

I rolled my eyes and pull myself back towards my desk. “We’ll see. I guess I have two months to perfect it.” 

I smiled again reassuring Rosie I was okay. She reciprocated sympathetically before she walked back to her desk. I took in a deep breath with my face cradled between my hands. There staring back at me was my article. For all I knew this was Nolan’s energy transpiring through the air waves preventing this whole thing from happening. 

I hit the delete button on my keyboard and watched as each letter from every word began erasing, one by one and then all at once. Before I knew it the whole thing was gone. 

I closed my eyes and whispered to myself.  “You win, Nolan.” 

Exactly five seconds had past when suddenly my eyes flew open. “That’s it!” I whispered again. “That’s it!” My voice grew louder with excitement.

My fingers raced across the keyboard. I had the story the whole time and I never thought twice about it. It wasn’t Nolan story I needed to write about.

It was mine.

I’d fallen in love with Nolan within moments of meeting him. Me, the cynic. The girl that believed love was just a scam being shoved down our throats by mass media. I’ve given into my own fears because of a book written my a physiologist, who despite my denial happened the be right.

How could I have missed this. 

By the time I was done writing there were only a couple people left in the office. I’d written and rewritten and rewritten again. I was obsessively reading the words popping up on my screen from the swift stroke of my fingers on the keyboard. 

I hit the print button and watched the ink covered paper eject from the printer. My hands covered my mouth as I picked it up from the tray. This was it. 

I walked over to Rosie’s desk and left my paper with a sticky note attached.

Please reconsider 

 - Harper

I paraded back home eager for the next morning to arrive. I’d even eaten dinner early just so I could fall asleep faster.

The next morning I walked into the office to find Rosie waiting at my desk. The expression on her face looked surprised. 

“Was this the original story?” She asked me from across the office waving the papers in the air. 

“No.” I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. “It’s been written.” I’d walked up to her by this point. We stared at each other in silence before she broke out  in a smile.

“That’s it, this needs to be posted as soon as possible.”