Chapter Twenty Two

Review: Twenty One Questions For Finding Love

Written by: Harper Marie Stevens

I'm aware that this might be written differently than most book reviews, but I felt it was necessary to tell my story.

It would be impossible to continue without mentioning the person I once was. An egotistical cynic that didn’t care much about anything except for her own success and career. I was eager to make my mark on the world. I moved to Los Angeles, a busy metropolitan city, and yet I managed to only make a single friend. We just happened to be neighbors, so who knows if she’d actually be my friend if we’d met otherwise. 

The point that I’m trying to make is I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I have my faults and now thanks to Alexander Nottingham I’ve learned to deal with them. 

When I was first given this book I almost immediately tossed it away. The idea of manipulating someone into falling in love with me seemed a bit out of my expertise. Little did I know I was the perfect candidate. 

At first the reader is given a short excerpt on the fundamentals of Nottingham’s theory. This is where you learn his strategy of asking each question in the designated order it is given. Essentially you’re building a comfort zone between yourself and your significant other. As you proceed through the questions you later find yourself leaving that comfort zone to dig for a deeper connection. 

The first time I read this book I nearly gagged. The thought of someone maybe falling in love with me seemed off putting at the very least. 

When I decided to move back to Boston I ran into some car troubles that ultimately led me to my victim. He was perfect. Talkative, optimistic, single and I’ll admit, easy on the eyes. I knew this would be the perfect opportunity to test out Nottingham’s theory. 

Rolan Gletcher* couldn’t have been an easier target. As we traveled cross country I slowly began to learn about his family dynamics and work ethics. From time to time I’d hear his phone conversations with his nieces. It would always start with screaming laughter from one end of the phone and finish with tears asking when he’d be home. “I’ll be back before you know it!” He’d convince them. Little did they know he was working hard everyday to manage his family business. I would watch as he’d conduct meetings for hundreds of staff members without breaking a sweat and then do it all over again the next day. He certainly had a sense of commitment. 

I hadn’t even made it to the tenth question before I began noticing Rolan’s fascination with me. I knew that my uptight attitude and stand-offish behavior hadn’t exactly lured him in. Instead it was the carefully articulated research from Nottingham that trick Rolan’s mind into seeing a deeper part of me. One that wasn’t verbally communicated.

I knew what was going on, it was inevitable after all. I didn’t need to finish experimenting with this theory any longer. It had already proven to successfully create intimacy from my "partner."

I kept it going anyway. At this point my research was turning into a sick obsessive interest. By following a single pattern I was able to charm my way into someone’s heart. My eyes would light up when I would think of using this theory in different situations. Maybe on a potential boss in order to land a job, or maybe to stop a police officer from writing a ticket, I could use this on anyone really.

Maybe even myself.

As time went by I began noticing a change in my daily routine. I’d gone from living in Los Angeles and struggling to wake up from the deafening sound of five separate alarms to being on a road trip with a stranger and practically jumping out of bed to see what he was up to. 

I consistently reminded myself that I wasn’t changing. It was just an experiment I was conducting and this new peppy girl I’d become was merely an act to hold up the charades. 

I was wrong.

By the twenty first question I knew it. I was never pretending. I had in fact transformed into someone I wasn't familiar with. 

I never expected this to be the outcome. I believed that if I was fully aware of how the theory worked I would be immune to it. 

Nottingham has a way of sowing in the depths of your insecurities and then helping you to nurture the growth of this potential reality of a new outlook. His theory breaks you away from those pesky stains in your mind with a simple spritz of a hard acting cleaner.

Once it’s all over you began to realize that you haven’t tricked your mind into changing. It wasn’t actually the book that made you feel this way. It was you all along. A stubborn soul who was convinced that they needed a book to find love. 

So, to conclude my review, I will give Alexander Nottingham four stars for his research, but I highly recommend not purchasing the book.

Don’t be a fool like I was. I made myself believe love was nothing but a Ponzi scheme. A fraudulent emotion that rids your mind of productivity and promises to return it with happiness only to have your heart broken in the end.

It was after I met Rolan Gletcher that I knew everything I’d believed before was just my fear of opening up. He was the first person to make me feel as though my struggles were just a tiny little molecule in a vast growing world. He faced his own set of heartbreaks, but that didn’t stop him from allowing me to explore the feeling of bliss when our emotions became mutual.

He was a stranger that stole my heart and has yet to return it.

*Name have been changed to protect the privacy of individual.

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Hello Love,

Hope you enjoyed Harper’s article! I know this week’s post is short, but I felt that separating the article from my regular post was the best thing to do in order to prepare you for next week. Speaking of…  Next week will be the FINAL post of 21 questions!!! Can’t believe we’re already at the end of our journey!!!!

Xx

Zara